Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
