just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
