she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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