Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
