he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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