I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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