Did you just see the Batmobile???
only you would photoshop your dick
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
