So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I will pee on everything he values.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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