I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
