Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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