He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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