I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
