Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
