We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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