It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
