My room smells like vodka and shame
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
