She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
