i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
