forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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