Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
