I am spending my child support on dildos
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
