is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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