If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
