just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He shit in the fireplace
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
