you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
