No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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