She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
