I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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