im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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