Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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