Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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