I'm so fucking centered right now
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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