my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
