Cold hands, warm shart.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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