the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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