Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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