he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found the puke drawer
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize