you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
