You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
