It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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