he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize