i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
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