I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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