That's intense
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
