there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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