she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
