He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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