you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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