Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
