i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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