I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
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I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
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I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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