just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
