i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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