I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
This toilet bowl is my home.
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