dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
