before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
