The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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