Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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