fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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