Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Im part way to drunk.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
