I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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