We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
