I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
