Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
