Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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