Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize