You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize