The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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